I’m a quote person. I looooove quotes. They get me to think with a different perspective. Sometimes they even feel like a wakeup call. Take this one for example:
“If you’re searching for that one person who will change your life…look in the mirror.” Unknown
Oh yes, this was one of those quotes that seemed like it was written just for me. Somehow I clicked the right search button and voila, a message I was meant to read. I had been waiting for Prince Charming. Thought when I found the right guy, I could start my life, be a wife and mother, and life would be grand.
Life has a funny way of showing you what you’re missing.
I was approaching life by looking outward instead of inward. I was searching for someone else to make my life complete. It never occurred to me to take life by storm and create a life that was meaningful to me. I had no idea how to do that.
What does self-love look like?
Women love those in their lives wholeheartedly. Loving someone else and being loved in return is a wonderful feeling, right? But can we have that same wonderful feeling of love for ourselves?
The kind of love where we speak to ourselves with compassion and realize our happiness is equally important as others. When we live in self-love we live according to our values.
Why do we find it so hard to love ourselves?
Sounds a little touchy feely maybe? We can set up barriers by the stories we tell ourselves too. How often do we even think about our values?
Do these sound familiar?
- Loving myself is selfish,
- I don’t deserve it,
- I was taught to put others’ needs before my own,
- I don’t know what it feels or looks like to love myself,
- I am a harsh critic and judge myself all the time, I’m just not happy with who I am.
What do we do to fill that hole?
We look externally for ways to make ourselves feel better by seeking attention, praise, and acknowledgement from others. Maybe we’ll work late hours to get the boss’s approval, stretch ourselves thin by over-volunteering to be recognized, or overdo for the kids or our partners to win their affection. Any time you are motivated to seek approval or affirmation from external sources, it’s time for some self-love work.
Where does the path to self-love start?
- Stop Criticizing Yourself
Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing, no matter how insignificant.
- Show Yourself Some Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. It’s OK to make a mistake. Learn from the experience.
- Let Go
Stop living in the past. Don’t blame yourself for decisions you made before. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had. Forgive yourself.
- Practice Self-Care
Incorporate good nutrition and exercise into your life. What fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality?
Find the things that make you laugh. What made you joyful as a child? Find them and enjoy them again.
When you make the effort to love yourself every day it’s remarkable how much your life will improve. You begin to show up in your relationships happier. You’ll find that the negative ones, slowly fade from your life.
What will you do to practice self-love?